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It’s not a good time to be a Tory (is it ever I hear you cry)

  • accusations flying about the Murdoch’s relationship with Tory MP’s and the support they would give him
  • the economy being officially classed as being in a double dip recession
  • public debt incrreasing despite austerity measures
  • strikes looming over the attack on public sector pensions
  • petrol shortage looming
  • a budget which has revealed the true colours of the Tories
  • Cameron and Osborne classed as out of touch by their own party
  • Cameron classed as lazy
  • even the boat race was disrupted

Time for Cameron to call in Max Clifford, the master of PR. I see him pushing Cameron and Osborne as just two ‘good ole boys’, getting up to hijinks with the rest of their friends, they don’t mean to fuck up the country, but ‘boys will be boys’. Sign them up with MTV 5 Max, it could be a bigger show than the Osbornes! The show could end each week with different members of the public staing in a cheeky tone – ‘You really are a pair of wankers’, followed by a close up of Cameron and Osborne giggling with slight embarrassment – cue credits.