First rule when about to be caught out blame lots of other people, but now police have raided abattoirs and meat packing firms in Yorkshire and Aberystwyth – so it was those dodgy Romanians that we so desperately wanted to blame. Regardless of horse, products are just simply not what they are labelled as but at least it’s meat. The vegetarian society must be pissing themselves laughing at the hypocrisy of meat eaters.

Why has this happened – greed, pure and simple. Wait for the claims direct people trying it on representing those who ate shit burgers claiming they ate different shit to the shit they thought they were eating!

Moral of story – don’t eat processed food! God I sound like that twat Jamie Oliver – Eat what you want when you want but don’t believe that supermarkets won’t exploit you at any chance they get.