It was back in ’32 when times were hard

He had a Colt .45 and a deck of cards

Stagger Ed 

He wore red-drawn shoes and an old manifesto

Had a ‘lot o unions, had payments on that

Stagger Ed 

Blair had thrown them out in the ice and snow

And told him, “Never ever come back no more”

Stagger Ed 

So he walked through the rain and he walked through the mud

Till he came to a place called The Bucket Of Blood

Stagger Ed 

He said “Mr Motherfucker, you know who I am”

The BlackRod said, “No, and I don’t give a good goddamn”

To Stagger Ed 

He said, “Well BlackRod, it’s plain to see

I’m that bad motherfucker called Stagger Ed”

Mr. Stagger Ed 

BlackRod said, “Yeah, I’ve heard your name down the way

And I kick motherfucking asses like you every day”

Mr Stagger Ed 

Well those were the last words that the barkeep said

‘Cause Stag put four holes in his motherfucking head 

Just then in came a broad called Tessie May

Was known to make more money than any bitch in town 

She struts across the bar, hitching up her skirt

Over to Stagger Ed, she starts to flirt

With Stagger Ed 

She saw the BlackRod, said, “O God, he can’t be dead!”

Stag said, “Well, just count the holes in the motherfucker’s head” 

She said, “You ain’t look like you scored in quite a time.

Why not come to my pad? It won’t cost you a dime”

Mr. Stagger Ed 

“But there’s something I have to say before you begin

You’ll have to be gone before my man Davey Cam comes in,

Mr. Stagger Ed” 

“I’ll stay here till Davey comes in, till time comes to pass

And furthermore I’ll fuck Davey in his motherfucking ass”

Said Stagger Ed 

“I’m a bad motherfucker, don’t you know

And I’ll crawl over fifty good pussies just to get one fat boy’s asshole”

Said Stagger Ed 

Just then Davey Cam rolls in and he says, “You must be

That bad motherfucker called Stagger Ed”

Stagger Ed 

“Yeah, I’m Stagger Ed and you better get down on your knees

And suck my dick, because If you don’t you’re gonna be dead”

Said Stagger Ed 

Davey dropped down and slobbered on his head

And Stag filled him full of lead

Oh yeah.