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The famous boat race between the two universities that perpetuate the class division in this country was forced to stop after a man was seen swimming between the boats. Fucking Excellent, this is probably the best funniest news all day, how dare the rotter ruin their spiffing jaunt on the river – does anybody really care about this event at all apart from the alumni from Oxbridge, oh and the BBC because it is the only sporting event they show live – even Sky don’t want it.