The Liberals have basically said:

Sorry, we screwed you but hey hey we are in power and we intend to stay here no matter want. Sign away your first born – sure we’ll back the Tories, but hey hey we are in power.

Labour will say:

This is what we would be doing now..I know we didn’t do when we were in power but hey we are working class don’t you know, but those unions are a handful. Ed is the man to lead us forward – forward to that cliff where we will push him over and get a more etonian friendly leader.

The Tories will say:

We inherited this mess, just look at these statistics to show how fucking good we are, don’t you remember the good ole days where those working plebs used to black your shoes whilst you could concentrate on important things like private education, interbreeding and generally being a selfish cunt. Boris is fully supportive of David and George Osborne does know how much a pint of bollinger and a caviar sandwich is – who says he doesn’t live in the real world.

What the three conferences will say more than anything else is that we need a change. There will be no hiding in oak trees this time.