It was back in ’32 when times were hard
He had a Colt .45 and a deck of cards
Stagger Ed
He wore red-drawn shoes and an old manifesto
Had a ‘lot o unions, had payments on that
Stagger Ed
Blair had thrown them out in the ice and snow
And told him, “Never ever come back no more”
Stagger Ed
So he walked through the rain and he walked through the mud
Till he came to a place called The Bucket Of Blood
Stagger Ed
He said “Mr Motherfucker, you know who I am”
The BlackRod said, “No, and I don’t give a good goddamn”
To Stagger Ed
He said, “Well BlackRod, it’s plain to see
I’m that bad motherfucker called Stagger Ed”
Mr. Stagger Ed
BlackRod said, “Yeah, I’ve heard your name down the way
And I kick motherfucking asses like you every day”
Mr Stagger Ed
Well those were the last words that the barkeep said
‘Cause Stag put four holes in his motherfucking head
Just then in came a broad called Tessie May
Was known to make more money than any bitch in town
She struts across the bar, hitching up her skirt
Over to Stagger Ed, she starts to flirt
With Stagger Ed
She saw the BlackRod, said, “O God, he can’t be dead!”
Stag said, “Well, just count the holes in the motherfucker’s head”
She said, “You ain’t look like you scored in quite a time.
Why not come to my pad? It won’t cost you a dime”
Mr. Stagger Ed
“But there’s something I have to say before you begin
You’ll have to be gone before my man Davey Cam comes in,
Mr. Stagger Ed”
“I’ll stay here till Davey comes in, till time comes to pass
And furthermore I’ll fuck Davey in his motherfucking ass”
Said Stagger Ed
“I’m a bad motherfucker, don’t you know
And I’ll crawl over fifty good pussies just to get one fat boy’s asshole”
Said Stagger Ed
Just then Davey Cam rolls in and he says, “You must be
That bad motherfucker called Stagger Ed”
Stagger Ed
“Yeah, I’m Stagger Ed and you better get down on your knees
And suck my dick, because If you don’t you’re gonna be dead”
Said Stagger Ed
Davey dropped down and slobbered on his head
And Stag filled him full of lead
Oh yeah.
Jason E Cooper 